10 Signs Of a Toxic Relationship (and how to cope)

What is a toxic relationship?

10 Signs of a toxic relationship

1. Constant criticism: If your partner constantly criticises you, downplays your achievements, or lowers your self-esteem, it might indicate toxicity.
2. Lack of respect: Respect for one another is essential in wholesome relationships. It may be a sign of toxicity if your partner frequently disregards your feelings or ideas.
3. Manipulative behaviour: Toxic relationships frequently employ mind games, guilt-tripping, and other methods of manipulation to control you.
4. Jealousy: Excessive jealousy can indicate insecurity and a lack of trust, resulting in dominating behaviour and a toxic relationship.
5. Lack of communication: Honest and open communication is essential for a successful and healthy relationship. One-sided conversations or unsolved arguments might indicate signs of toxicity.
6. Excessive dominance: It is a sign of toxicity if your partner attempts to control every aspect of your life. Watch out if your partner tries to control who you can see, what you can do, or how you should behave.
7. Emotional or physical abuse: Abuse of any kind, be it verbal, physical, sexual, or emotional, is toxic and must never be accepted.
8. Feeling drained or exhausted: You must decide if the relationship is good for you if spending time with your partner regularly leaves you feeling emotionally drained, worn out, or dissatisfied.
9. Unequal efforts: Both partners need to put in equal efforts for a healthy relationship. It may lead to bitterness and resentment if a partner continuously puts in more work while the other is on the receiving end without any intention of doing the same.
10. Cycle of apologies and repeated behaviour: Your partner may offer an apology for their harmful actions and pledge to make changes, but they might inevitably revert to their old habits. You could find yourself stuck in a relationship with this repeated pattern of apologies.

How to cope and manage?

1. Acknowledge the toxicity: Recognising the toxic nature of this relationship is the first step. This might include reflecting on recurring behaviours, receiving advice from close friends or family members, or consulting a therapist.
2. Establish boundaries: Set up distinct borders to shield yourself from more damage. Make sure to clearly and consistently communicate your limits and be ready to take legal action if they are crossed.
3. Engage in self-care: Put your physical, emotional, and mental health first by engaging in self-care. Take part in enjoyable and calming activities, such as hobbies, physical activity, mindfulness exercises, or quality time with supportive family members.
4. Seek assistance: For help and direction, get in touch with dependable family members, friends, or a therapist. In difficult situations, having a solid support system may offer encouragement, perspective, and validation.
5. Minimise contact: Try to keep your contact with the toxic individual to a minimum. This might be establishing limits on communication, spending less time together, or, if it's required for your well-being, breaking up completely.
6. Concentrate on what you can control: Understand that while you are powerless to alter the toxic person's actions, you do have power over how you react to them. Instead of attempting to correct the other person, concentrate on controlling your responses and actions.
7. Practice assertive communication: This type of communication entails listening to the other person's viewpoint as well as politely expressing your wants and opinions. You can successfully advocate for yourself and set limits by doing this.
8. Create a supportive network: Be in the company of uplifting, empowering individuals who support and encourage you. Develop ties with loved ones, friends, or support groups that comprehend and affirm your experiences.
9. Practice self-compassion: Show yourself kindness and compassion, especially when things are hard for you. Keep in mind that you are deserving of happiness, love, and respect.
10. Think about professional assistance: If coping mechanisms are not enough, think about getting professional assistance from a therapist or counsellor with experience in trauma and relationships. You can get more support, coping mechanisms, and techniques for resolving toxic relationships through therapy.
11. Record incidents: Keep a record of any abusive episodes, including the dates, times, and specifics of the events. If you need to seek legal assistance or protection—for example, by requesting a restraining order or reporting anything to the police—documentation may be helpful.
12. Practice forgiveness: Let go of whatever shame or self-blame you may have felt over previous mistakes in the relationship. Remind yourself that you have no control over the toxic individual's actions and concentrate on moving on with empathy and self-love.
13. Examine your options: Think about the ways you can change the nature of the relationship or get out of it completely. This might entail getting legal advice, couples' treatment, or individual therapy, depending on your unique situation.
14. Know when to leave: In the end, your security and welfare come first. Know when to leave a toxic relationship before it gets intolerable or puts you in danger. Your happiness and health should come first.
15. Have realistic expectations: Accept that handling a toxic relationship may be an exhausting and lengthy procedure, and that change might not occur immediately. Be gentle with yourself as you travel through the relationship and set reasonable expectations for yourself.

When to seek help?