Helping Someone With Depression: What You Need To Know

Look for symptoms of depression

• Feels sad and gloomier than usual
• Feels negative and disheartened about the future
• Talks about past failures or feelings of worthlessness
• Frequent mention of death or suicidal thoughts
• Trouble concentrating or making decisions
• Cares less about pleasurable activities or hobbies
• Shows a diminished desire to spend time with others or communicate
• Has trouble sleeping or sleeping more than usual
• Experiences changes in appetite; eats more or less than usual
• Gets easily upset or irritable
• Loss of interest in physical appearance or neglects basic hygiene
• Feeling tired or lack of energy
• Exhibits slowed cognitive function
• Experiences forgetfulness
• Suffers from anxiety or nervousness
• Experiencing headaches
• Experiencing muscle tension

How to urge people to seek help?

• Express your observations: Start by talking to the person about what you have observed and why you are worried. Let them know about the little changes in their behaviour or mood and assure them that you are there to support them.
• Educate about depression: Explain to them that depression is a mental health condition and not a personal flaw. Provide information about its symptoms and treatment options and share resources such as support groups and helplines to make seeking help more accessible.
• Normalise seeking help: Reassure them that seeking assistance for mental health problems is common and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Promote the use of therapy and counselling as tools for self-recovery and personal growth.
• Offer support: Ease their worries by letting them know that they are not alone and that you will support them every step of the way. Express your willingness to accompany them to appointments or help them find a therapist.
• Be patient and persistent: Understand that they may be reluctant to seek assistance initially. Show patience and gentle persistence in encouraging them to take the first step towards getting support.
• Respect their autonomy: Ultimately, they hold the power to decide on seeking help. Support their freedom of choice and avoid forcing them into anything they are not ready for. Let them know you are determined to stand by them regardless of their choice.

What are the warning signs of worsening depression?

• Talking about self-harm or having suicidal thoughts
• Displaying self-injurious behaviour
• Organising affairs or saying goodbye
• Searching for weapons or harmful substances
• Experiencing an instant calm after a depressive episode
• Expressing feelings of self-disgust

Showing support

1. Listen without judgment: Remind your loved one that you are there for them whenever they want to discuss their feelings. Allow them the freedom to express their emotions without fear of criticism or judgment.
2. Provide assistance: Even small tasks might occasionally feel daunting when someone is depressed.  You may offer to assist with routine chores like cleaning, cooking, or errand running. Your assistance can have a significant impact on their stress relief.
3. Be understanding: Try to put yourself in your loved one's position to comprehend better what they are going through. Even if you are unable to entirely understand their situation, let them know you still care and are available to support them.
4. Encourage professional help: Urge your loved one to get professional assistance from a therapist or a counsellor. If it makes them feel better, you may offer to accompany them to appointments or assist them in finding services.
5. Be patient: Recovering from depression requires time, and there may be obstacles in the way. Hence, exercising patience and understanding is a great way of showing your loved one that you are here for them no matter what.
6. Maintain contact: Even if it's only a quick check-in, stay in regular contact with your loved one. Depression can increase from loneliness, so your support and presence can be immensely reassuring.
7. Educate yourself: Educate yourself about depression so that you can better understand what your loved one is going through. Gaining knowledge about the signs, causes, and available treatments can enable you to offer deeper support.
8. Promote self-care: You can encourage your loved one to set aside time for self-care practices that will lift their spirit. Getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising frequently, and participating in activities they enjoy are some things they could do to alleviate stress.
9. Provide emotional validation: Reassure your loved one that their emotions are real and that it's acceptable for them to feel the way they do. Refrain from downplaying their feelings or attempting to "fix" them. Sometimes, simply acknowledging their emotions can be immensely gratifying.
10. Respect their boundaries: Respecting your loved one's boundaries is as vital as providing support. If they ask for time or space to themselves, give it to them without taking it personally. You may also inform them that you are available at any time just in case they need to talk.
11. Celebrate little victories: Recognise the minor victories and milestones that your loved one meets as they proceed toward healing. Every positive step is something to be proud of, whether getting out of bed, going to therapy, or picking up a past passion.
12. Be hopeful: Remind your loved one to hold onto their sense of hope and to believe that things can improve with time, assistance, and expert guidance. Stay encouraging and positive even when things are tough.

Taking care of yourself

• Establish boundaries to safeguard your health and the health of your loved one who is depressed.
• To prevent feeling alone, ask friends, family, or support groups for assistance.
• Make self-care a priority if you want to be emotionally and mentally refreshed.
• To avoid burnout and maintain equilibrium in your life, take pauses when needed.
• Recovery takes time, so be patient with yourself and your loved one.
• Engage in hobbies that make you happy and provide you with a sense of fulfilment
• Acknowledge your own emotions and ask for help when you require it.
• Concentrate on the little victories for yourself and your loved one.
• Remember that you are not alone in this; if providing care becomes too much for you, feel free to ask for assistance.

Resources and support

• You may visit the Carer Gateway if you require advice on how to take care of someone who is depressed. You may contact them on 1800 422 737.
• Mental Health Treatment Plan for guided support at zero cost

• Lifeline on 13 11 14
•  Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636
• Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800

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