Emotional dysregulation in children: Helpful tips for parents

Summary: Emotional dysregulation in children can trigger intense reactions, but parents can help by modelling emotional balance, maintaining a structured environment, fostering emotional awareness, and using relaxation methods. Consistent boundaries, empathy, and encouragement also play a key role. Children can develop better emotional control with patience and guidance, leading to more stable emotional health.    

Emotional dysregulation in children can feel like a whirlwind of strong emotions—-one minute, they are soaring high with joy, and the next, they are in tears or having a meltdown. It’s completely natural for children to struggle with managing their emotions, but for parents, it can be tricky to know how to help them regain control. Studies show that emotional dysregulation is particularly prominent, occurring in approximately 5-10% of children in the general population, but rates can be higher (upto 30%-50%) in clinical setting such as psychiatric clinics or mental health facilities. Let’s explore some fun and practical tips to help kids navigate that emotional rollercoaster ride with more ease and confidence.  

What does dysregulated mood mean?

• Rapid, intense mood shifts (e.g. joy to anger within minutes) 
• Overwhelming emotional reactions (e.g. extreme frustration over minor setbacks) 
• Difficulty calming down after an emotional trigger 

What are emotional outbursts?

Impact

• Social challenges: Children with emotional dysregulation may have difficulty building and maintaining relationships, as their strong emotional reactions can be overwhelming or confusing for others to grasp. 
• Learning difficulties: Emotional outbursts and trouble concentrating can interfere with a child’s ability to thrive academically, influencing their attention, behaviour in school, and overall performance.  
• Mental health concerns: Over time, persistent emotional dysregulation can contribute to mental health problems like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD). 
• Family strain: Families may experience stress and frustration when dealing with emotional outbursts, causing tension between parents and children or within the home. 
• Low self-esteem: Children who struggle with emotional regulation may feel embarrassed or ashamed of their reactions, leading to a negative self-perception and diminished confidence. 
• Inability to manage stress: Individuals with emotional dysregulation often struggle to handle stress in healthy ways, leading to stronger emotional reactions in difficult situations.  

Manifestations

1. Rapid mood fluctuations: Children may quickly transition between different emotions, joyful at one moment and then angry or upset the next—often  they are triggered by internal stressors or sensory sensitivities. 
2. Extreme emotional responses: They tend to overreact to minor setbacks, displaying tantrums, crying, yelling, or aggression that appears excessive. 
3. Challenges in self-soothing: Once upset, it may take them considerable time to settle down or return to a state of calmness. 
4. Impulsive actions: When overwhelmed by feelings, children might misbehave, disregard rules, engage in risky behaviour, or struggle to exercise patience. 
5. Withdrawal or evasion: Some may retreat, isolate themselves, or decline to engage in activities when emotions become overwhelming. Withdrawal can sometimes be mistaken for defiance but often reflects emotional overwhelm. 

Also read: Parental anxiety: Guide to finding relief

Causes

Trauma or mistreatment:

Family stress:

Mental health conditions:

Environmental stressors:

Temperament:

Absence of emotional guidance:

Signs of emotional dysregulation in children

• Intense mood swings, rapidly transitioning from happiness to irritation or sorrow.  
• Frequent outbursts or emotional breakdowns that seem overly intense for the situation. 
• Aggressive behaviour such as hitting, slapping, kicking, or shouting. 
• Social withdrawal or seclusion, avoiding interactions when stressed.  
• Difficulty regaining calm after emotional distress.  
• Intense reactions to trivial annoyances.  
• Lack of self-control or trouble managing spontaneous actions.   

The significance of emotional dysregulation for children

1. Effects on relationships: Children who find it difficult to manage their emotions might struggle to establish and maintain healthy connections with peers, teachers, and family members due to outbursts, aggression, or withdrawal. 
2. Challenges in academics: Emotional dysregulation can disrupt focus, classroom behavior, executive functioning skills, and the ability to accept feedback or handle frustration, often resulting in educational difficulties. 
3. Risks to mental health: If left unchecked, emotional dysregulation may heighten the risk of developing anxiety, depression, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) or other emotional and behavioural disorders in later life.  
4. Social development: Children may forfeit chances to acquire vital social skills such as empathy, cooperation, and problem-solving. 

How to support children with emotional dysregulation

1. Establish a safe and calming environment: Create a stable routine and a nurturing space where the child feels secure and understood. Reduce triggers and promote open emotional expression. Predictability and emotional safety are crucial for building regulation skills. 
2. Teach emotional recognition: Assist children in identifying and naming their feelings through discussions, books, or visual aids like emotion charts. Acknowledging emotions is the initial step toward managing them. 
3. Model appropriate behaviour: Exhibit calm and constructive methods of dealing with stress or frustration. Children often learn emotional regulation by observing adults. 
4. Implement calming techniques: Introduce deep breathing, counting, or taking breaks progressive muscle relaxation or mindfulness strategies as ways to self-soothe during heightened emotions   
5. Enforce consistent limits: Defined rules and consequences provide children with a sense of security and an understanding of acceptable behavior. 
6. Seek professional assistance if necessary: Therapists or counsellors via mental health plan can offer specialised advice and tools, especially if emotional dysregulation impacts daily activities. 

Practice runs

When to get help

Recognising when to seek assistance for a child facing emotional dysregulation is essential. If your child often experiences intense emotional outbursts, has difficulty calming down, or their behaviour disrupts relationships, school, or daily activities, it might be time to reach out to a professional. A paediatrician, child psychologist, or counsellor can evaluate their emotional needs and offer effective support or therapy. Addressing these issues early can significantly impact your child's ability to manage emotions and succeed in everyday situations. 

Helping children manage intense emotions is like teaching them to ride a bike—at first, it’s shaky, but with practice and support, they improve! By showing calmness, establishing consistent boundaries, and providing plenty of support, parents can help their children develop emotional strength, making those emotional swings easier for everyone.